They are content, even in relatively unfulfilling relationships, as long as some part of the fantasy is left to play out. At that point, many women may find that marriage hasn’t even come close to meeting their expectations.
Some women feel stupid for having wanted it so badly in the first place.
As with other drugs, it is addictive, and people gradually build up a tolerance to it, requiring ever-greater levels to achieve the same effect.
Over time, it loses its power over us, and infatuation is replaced by a calm feeling of attachment to our mates.
When her hormones prompt her to reproduce again, she simply takes a new mate.
Langley cites Helen Fisher’s in support of this account.An advanced civilization requires high-investment parenting to maintain itself.The greatest threat to proper parenting in our time is divorce, overwhelmingly initiated by the wife (70–75 percent of the time, according to Langley).Men being pressured for “commitment” sometimes attempt to point this out: “Why is it such a big deal? ” The men are right, of course: a wedding ceremony has no magical power to produce lifelong happiness.Unfortunately, this seems to be something women only learn from experience.This apparently allows enough time after childbirth for the average mother in a state of savagery to regain her ability to survive without male provisioning.In the absence of any system of marriage, a woman’s natural tendency is to “liberate” herself from her mate after that point.She met women, at first accidentally, who described similar experiences, and questioned them.Later she began seeking women out for lengthy interviews. It is worth noting that she managed to devote several hours a week to this research without any degree in sociology or taxpayer-funded grants. I found it fascinating that something so prevalent could be kept so secret.” What, then, did she learn? Women in particular may believe that, if they find the right person, intense feelings can last.There are neurochemical factors at work here as well.But the feeling of attachment or bondedness is akin to the effect of a sedative or narcotic rather than a stimulant. The sex drive, in both men and women, is linked to testosterone levels.