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The key to getting your coworker to nix those annoying habits hinges on your ability to stay cool.“Otherwise, you’re not in any position to talk to that person in a way that benefits you,” Burg says.
Try, “You know, Ed, I’d love to discuss something with you that might make it easier for you to enjoy your work.
I can tell you’re a deep thinker, and you have a great ability to challenge the status quo.”Follow this up with, “Yet, sometimes, I feel as though your thoughts are communicated in a negative way–which is okay, because things aren’t always rosy.
Turns out that’s a lucrative skill to possess.“Because you create such positive experiences, people can’t wait to do business with you again,” he adds.
“It’s much more profitable, both financially and relationship-wise, to be a master persuader rather than a master manipulator–someone who people can’t get away from fast enough.”Ready to begin your transformation into the ultimate office influencer?
Once you’re able to schedule a sit-down, your primary objective is to lay down a rock-solid framework–starting with a statement that acknowledges the company’s current challenges so your request doesn’t seem obtuse.
Burg suggests language like, “I know budgets are tight this year, but I’d like to talk to you about how we still can work within that to justify a raise.”After that, present your manager with a quantifiable list detailing your stellar accomplishments over the past few years.“Be prepared to show him when, where, and how what you’ve been doing has added to the bottom line, not taken from it,” Burg says, adding that this “I” message framework creates a realistic–not self-indulgent–tone that will endear your manager to your cause.I hope you feel the same way–and that my work and suggestions are important to the team.”Hopefully, she’ll quickly agree, and you can move on to your next sentence: “And I’m always very happy to know that you present some of my best ideas to others.”Now that you’ve acknowledged your appreciation for what she does for you, gently bring up your concern with something like, “I sometimes wonder if I’m getting all the proper credit that I should, given my level of participation. ”“Without saying, ‘Hey, I think you’re stealing my ideas,’ you’ve asked your boss–in a polite and nonthreatening way–what the deal is.And she can’t let her ego get to her because there wasn’t a real accusation in there,” Burg says.“That’s why the key to getting your boss to see your point of view in this tricky case is to stroke her ego.”So kick off the conversation with a little old-fashioned flattery, making sure your gratitude is clear before segueing to your concerns.Consider saying, “Jean, I really enjoy working with you.I just don’t want either of us to feel bad about it if it happens again.”This way, explains Burg, you’re getting her permission and buy-in to correct the problem in the future.Over the course of time, through continued self-control and kindness, you’re reteaching Mary to do what you want: be a good office mate. The Secret to Using Criticism to Boost Your Career As a new project manager, you’ve just been assigned a team that includes a testy employee who’s notorious for picking apart everything from team-building exercises to the office snack selection.“If you don’t, that person just becomes defensive and resistant,” he says.So start by showing your assistant that we’ve all been there, with something along the lines of, “Joanne, you know you have so much potential, and you’re going to do great things at this company.Because, unlike with friends, you don’t get to pick your office mates.And, unlike with family, you can’t lean on Mom to referee your arguments.To make matters even tougher, author Bob Burg says that most people aren’t skilled in the art of persuasion—a key ingredient to putting issues with colleagues to bed.And that’s precisely why he wrote his latest book, , which dishes out advice on what it takes to be an effective workplace influencer.“That means you’re someone who consistently gets the results you want from others in such a way that you’ve made them feel genuinely good about themselves, the situation—and you,” Burg explains.